PoetDylan J. Kershaw

Dylan J. Kershaw is a comedian and creative producer from the south of England. Dylan is also the host and producer of "I Hate Poetry", a poetry-comedy podcast.

Cock In A Sock

Have you ever tried to put a cock in a sock on a Winter’s day? It just flaps around, and doesn’t stay fay. You try different things, shrinking it down, tying it to a string You try feeding it and suddenly it stays that’s all that was needed and you...

When you’re watching me

I got up this morning at half ten,
But you knew that, didn’t you?
I was going to shave my pubic hair,
I bet you’re thinking “really again?”
Now that I’m alone, self-love,
Are you here?
I can’t do this
There is too much fear.

My life is like a screenplay

Interior teenager’s bedroom, action. Kid lying on bed, wondering which scene will end up on the cutting floor SHOT OF SCHOOL, dread and boredom SHOT OF THE CITY, excitement and creative whoredom PAN THROUGH CITY STREETS, kid wearing a shirt too big...

New Horizons

Not using tin foil on a baking tray is like having sex without a condom…
Where has the space gone? I’m wearing boxes.
Exploring the garden… let’s get a gnome!
Who’s territory is this? Mine or yours?

See you next Friday

He put cotton in my mouth this morning.The night before he said “come on Dylan, it’ll be a laugh” and there was no warning.Although he introduced me to a few of his friendsThere was a point that the night had to end.He put my...

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