Dylan J. Kershaw is a comedian and creative producer from the south of England. Dylan is also the host and producer of "I Hate Poetry", a poetry-comedy podcast.
Have you ever tried to put a cock in a sock on a Winter’s day? It just flaps around, and doesn’t stay fay. You try different things, shrinking it down, tying it to a string You try feeding it and suddenly it stays that’s all that was needed and you...
I got up this morning at half ten,
But you knew that, didn’t you?
I was going to shave my pubic hair,
I bet you’re thinking “really again?”
Now that I’m alone, self-love,
Are you here?
I can’t do this
There is too much fear.
Interior teenager’s bedroom, action. Kid lying on bed, wondering which scene will end up on the cutting floor SHOT OF SCHOOL, dread and boredom SHOT OF THE CITY, excitement and creative whoredom PAN THROUGH CITY STREETS, kid wearing a shirt too big...
Finding a new purpose is like peeing in the shower.
Sometimes I pull back my foreskin just to feel something.
When life gives you lemons, use the citrus as a fire hazard.
“So Dylan, what team do you support?” “I support Ukraine.”
Don’t call me fucknose.
Not using tin foil on a baking tray is like having sex without a condom…
Messy.
Where has the space gone? I’m wearing boxes.
Impatience.
Exploring the garden… let’s get a gnome!
Quirky.
Who’s territory is this? Mine or yours?
Excitement.
He put cotton in my mouth this morning.The night before he said “come on Dylan, it’ll be a laugh” and there was no warning.Although he introduced me to a few of his friendsThere was a point that the night had to end.He put my...